I’ve taken several sets of Chinese lessons and both times I was stunned by what I was taught. It was all ordering food, telling taxi drivers to drop you off just before the corner and asking strangers if they have any brothers or sisters, now, all of these can be handled perfectly well by pointing and making random noises (with the exception of the last one which is a bit redundant in a country with a one child policy) so this is all just meaningless waffle. Anyway, this is all well and good until you’re actually turned loose on the street and can’t even tell the bag-watch man to “shit off” or the kids handing out travel agency cards to imbibe your excretia.
Here’s a few things I’ve learn’t since I’ve been here, I’ll keep updating this: Apologies for the poor pinyin, i’m sort of making it up as I go along to fit the sounds.
Oh, by the way, people go on about tones being important, I don’t know about all that but I know that when you’re swearing you just need to look a bit angry, shout it and add something like “aaah” at the end for authenticity
Sha Gua - idiot (gang du in shanghainese)
zhu tou san – pig head
Er Bai Wu – “250″ – stupid
Shi San Dien - “13 points” – stupid, normally for a girl
Bun Dan - stupid
Shen Jin Bing - stupid
Shi – shit
Bee Shi - nose shit
Fong Pi - fart
Da Bien – big relief – a “long toilet visit”
Xiao Bien – little relief – a wee
Niu Niu – wee wee
Ta Ma De – errr I forgot
Pao Niu - hunting for girls (wo qu pao niu - i’m going hunting for girls)
Sha Bee - stupid “womans area”
Qu Si Ba - go to your death
Qu Ni Ma De – go to your mother
Da Fae Ji - “shoot the plane” – the good old five knuckle shuffle
Biao Zi - bitch / whore
Ji Nu – whore
Xiao Di Di – “little brother”
Pi Gu - arse
Gang Men - arsehole
Ni Gan Ma? – what are you doing? (rudely)
Ni Zhe Shi Gan Shen Me – what the hell are you doing?
Shao Nin – farmer / peasant (in shanghainese), very derogatory
Tong Zi – ‘comrade’, a gentleman who prefers the company of other gentleman
Nu Tong Zi – the ‘lady’ in the above arrangement
