Dingle Speaks

Hmm, another no photo post, I’ll be shedding readers like Swiss James sheds hair at this rate (actually I heard that he just moults for the summer and grows back a huge ginger mott in the Autumn).

Anyway, here’s a few questions I’ve been asked by the Chinee over the years. I’ll add some more when I remember them.

• So which side of the pavement do you have to walk on in the UK?
• Err, you can walk anywhere you want
• (In awe) Such Freedom!!

• Oh, we think you really enjoyed yourself when you went back home at Christmas
• Why is that?
• Because when you came back you are much fatter

• Is it true that Westerners always sleep on the side of their heads?
• What?
• At school we were told that Westerners always sleep on their sides, that is why the back of their head is round, Chinese always sleep on their backs so their head is flat.
• I sleep standing up

• How many times a day do Westerners go to McDonalds?
• Why do you ask that?
• Oh, at school our teachers told us that Westerners go to McDonalds several times every day.
• Yes, at least several

Edit: Ok, I can post 1 pic with a tenuous link to the last one!!! This is how McDonalds on Tianyaoqiao Lu (24 hour) looks at 6am, basically it’s completely packed out but nobody is eating, a lot of people sleeping on laptop bags etc so I’m assuming they stay there for the whole night.

McDonalds Hostel on Tianyaoqiao Lu, Five Michelin Stars!

I’ve taken several sets of Chinese lessons and both times I was stunned by what I was taught. It was all ordering food, telling taxi drivers to drop you off just before the corner and asking strangers if they have any brothers or sisters, now, all of these can be handled perfectly well by pointing and making random noises (with the exception of the last one which is a bit redundant in a country with a one child policy) so this is all just meaningless waffle. Anyway, this is all well and good until you’re actually turned loose on the street and can’t even tell the bag-watch man to “shit off” or the kids handing out travel agency cards to imbibe your excretia.

Here’s a few things I’ve learn’t since I’ve been here, I’ll keep updating this: Apologies for the poor pinyin, i’m sort of making it up as I go along to fit the sounds.

Oh, by the way, people go on about tones being important, I don’t know about all that but I know that when you’re swearing you just need to look a bit angry, shout it and add something like “aaah” at the end for authenticity

Sha Gua - idiot (gang du in shanghainese)

zhu tou san – pig head

Er Bai Wu – “250″ – stupid

Shi San Dien - “13 points” – stupid, normally for a girl

Bun Dan - stupid

Shen Jin Bing - stupid

Shi – shit

Bee Shi - nose shit

Fong Pi - fart

Da Bien – big relief – a “long toilet visit”

Xiao Bien – little relief – a wee

Niu Niu – wee wee

Ta Ma De – errr I forgot

Pao Niu - hunting for girls (wo qu pao niu - i’m going hunting for girls)

Sha Bee - stupid “womans area”

Qu Si Ba - go to your death

Qu Ni Ma De – go to your mother

Da Fae Ji - “shoot the plane” – the good old five knuckle shuffle

Biao Zi - bitch / whore

Ji Nu – whore

Xiao Di Di – “little brother”

Pi Gu - arse

Gang Men - arsehole

Ni Gan Ma? – what are you doing? (rudely)

Ni Zhe Shi Gan Shen Me – what the hell are you doing?

Shao Nin – farmer / peasant (in shanghainese), very derogatory

Tong Zi – ‘comrade’, a gentleman who prefers the company of other gentleman

Nu Tong Zi – the ‘lady’ in the above arrangement

It seems that no Shanghai based blog is complete without male accessories, and while I’m not as metro as some of my good friends I do like a nice watch. I’m not really interested in expensive (or fake), mainstream stuff, it’s always the obscure, interesting stuff that interests me (yeah, I’m a cheapskate).

Anyway, I saw talk about these watches on watchuseek and just had to have one (and they’re not easy to track down). It’s made by Seagull (Tianjin Seagull, different from the Shanghai Seagull camera company) and is a reissue of their 1963 chinese airforce watch. It seems that demand is high, I had to wait months to receive it, worth the wait though! My pictures don’t really do it justice (the best I can do in my hotel with a P&S and a desk lamp) but take a look at the watchuseek pics above to get a better idea.

Display back:

The movement is Seagull ST19 (handwound chronograph), the seagull movements are pretty much copies of ETA movements as far as I know, and by all accounts they are a pretty good match in terms of performance. Apparently the text reads “China: Tianjin Watch Factory” although apparently they’re made at the plant in Shenzhen.

My only minor gripe is that I’d prefer something a little bigger for my chunky wrist, at 37mm it’s a little on the small side of what I’d normally wear.

I just need to find a decent strap now, it’s still on the khaki NATO strap it was supplied on, anyone know any decent shops in Shanghai for straps?

EDIT:

Oh, by the way, Seagull watches are stocked at Tourneau in Xintiandi (not this model though), I took a look, their range is certainly premium priced but not really to my taste, they do have a reasonably priced tourbillon though.