Dingle Speaks

Hmm, another no photo post, I’ll be shedding readers like Swiss James sheds hair at this rate (actually I heard that he just moults for the summer and grows back a huge ginger mott in the Autumn).

Anyway, here’s a few questions I’ve been asked by the Chinee over the years. I’ll add some more when I remember them.

• So which side of the pavement do you have to walk on in the UK?
• Err, you can walk anywhere you want
• (In awe) Such Freedom!!

• Oh, we think you really enjoyed yourself when you went back home at Christmas
• Why is that?
• Because when you came back you are much fatter

• Is it true that Westerners always sleep on the side of their heads?
• What?
• At school we were told that Westerners always sleep on their sides, that is why the back of their head is round, Chinese always sleep on their backs so their head is flat.
• I sleep standing up

• How many times a day do Westerners go to McDonalds?
• Why do you ask that?
• Oh, at school our teachers told us that Westerners go to McDonalds several times every day.
• Yes, at least several

Edit: Ok, I can post 1 pic with a tenuous link to the last one!!! This is how McDonalds on Tianyaoqiao Lu (24 hour) looks at 6am, basically it’s completely packed out but nobody is eating, a lot of people sleeping on laptop bags etc so I’m assuming they stay there for the whole night.

McDonalds Hostel on Tianyaoqiao Lu, Five Michelin Stars!

Never defecate in solutide again with this triumph in fecal management by those crazy guys in Korea, family toilets! (I’m assuming, I’ve never seen these anywhere else)

Grandpa, you’re not invited, you’ll have to wheel yourself somewhere else to empty that bag!

Throne Room – Father and son privies

If only we’d had these a couple of years ago when I was a young kid in the UK, what a fantastic bonding experience it must be between a father and son. I can just imagine sitting at the kitchen table having just finished my gruel, excitedly waiting for the moment my father folds the newspaper, stands up and says “grab a comic son, let’s go and make some bum-spuds”

As if the dual outhouses is not enough they also have a selection of toilet papers for every occasion, a smoothish one for every day use and a heavily profiled one for cleaning up after the most viscid of stools.

A selection of personal-tissues for the discerning fecal hobbyist