Some more bits and bobs from my brief stay in Penang

Toilet signs, men have to urinate while peeping at the ladies over a wall in Penang, it’s the law.

The guys we were with kept talking about “local delights” the whole morning, a Malay English saying apparently. Anyway, when it comes to local delights the 7 Village Noodle House is apparently the BIZNIZ, we popped there for lunch.

"Local delights" lobak (pork sausage) and kwan jiang (deep fried sticky rice), proper good they were too, the dips are soy with green chillis and a salty red pepper paste

Soup noodles, this is what it's famous for, the noodles are a bit different, very light and they come with fish balls, pork and meat balls

It turns out that Penang is an island (who'd a thunk it??). Anyway, they built a bridge (6km long) to connect it to the mainland back in the 80's. After a couple of years a sandbank appeared a hundred metres or so off the bridge due to the changes in water flow, then another sand bank appeared. Then a couple of years later plants started growing on them. Twenty years later they look like they've been there forever, they're covered in large trees and life.

After a week of successful meetings our distributor took me for a special treat, the Bali Hai Seafood restaurant, YAY!!!! Oh, hold on, I don't like seafood (with the exception of fish). To be fair though they had an amazing selection, amazingly fresh (mind you I'm not used to seeing fish which aren't swimming upside down or bleeding profusely from the gills).

Time to break out the champagne bucket

We pulled out all the stops and went straight to the bottom of the beer menu, ordering Carlsberg Gold, GOLD!!! GOLD FFS!!!!

And then the food started arriving. If anyone has ever seen a less appetising chunk of tofu I challenge you to show the picture to prove it!

I've got to hand it to the Malays, I still haven't figured out how this is done, or why. But anyway it's a chicken sandwich but with slices of fish instead of bread and sliced almonds instead of crust, tasted bob-on though. No, the white sauce is not jizz before you start!

And then this guy showed up, he just arrived at our table and shook my hand, I forget what but his English was damn good, I figured he was the manager and was about to order another round of beer, then I noticed the makeup, he was wearing more makeup than I've ever seen on a man (even more than Ricky Reyes - Filipino celebrity hairdresser), then I noticed the cameras, the giggling girls and the mothers trying to push their children in front of him to get a photo. He sat at the next table....

Which pretty much trashed the night, his table was constantly mobbed with amateur photographers and fans. There were people leaning over our table to take photos and hustling around, kids running round, it was chaos, I gave up eating in the end and did my best to get on every photograph taken (in my best Chinese pose). I took this pic early on, it got worse and worse as word got round. Worst of all I still don't have a clue who he was, someone mentioned that he was a Taiwanese celebrity chef, he did bring his own cardboard cutout though (Something I'm definitely going to start doing).

Edit: woai says it’s Jamie Oliver

We finished the night at a bar in Georgetown, well, at least I think it was Georgetown, although, to be honest i’m just saying that because the buildings looked a bit old.

And that’s about it for Malaysia, spending my last night in KL and then back to Shanghai tomorrow, where I hear it’s raining….

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