I picked this up for H in Malaysia a few weeks ago, and VERY handy it is, I only wish I’d got one for the remainder of 2009 to govern my every waking decision..

So, what is it exactly you ask? Well, I say, first of all it’s a calendar, but as well as all having the days laid out for you in a nice grid with space to scrawl “Auntie Jean birthday” or “John, doctors” it has a key to show you exactly what you should and shouldn’t be doing on that day.

So, for example, on the 6th and 13th of May (see above) don’t even think about discussing anything important with your partner, travelling anywhere or doing any work on your house, but on the 7th May you can close important business deals, ask your partner where he goes when he says he’s late from work and take any form of transport.

Also, at the bottom (not shown) is a key telling you which hours of the day you should be doing stuff (your ‘auspicious hours’). So, for example, on the 7th May your earthly branch is the snake, your conflict animal is the dog (remember this, it means something very important, probably, to someone..) and you should ask your partner the important question or sign business agreements at 7 to 11 am or 3 to 7pm, but avoid asking it between 11 and 3 (kind of obvious, who does any work between those hours???) and 9 to 11pm.

On the backs of the calendar pages are various guides to the year with titles such as “LUCKY DIRECTIONS FOR SUCCESS, HEALTH, WEALTH AND HAPPINESS” and “GOOD AND BAD LUCK STARS OF THE 24 MOUNTAIN DIRECTIONS” with nice diagrams explaining all manner of really useful stuff..

Here’s a snippet from “RENOVATION RULES FOR YEAR 2010″:

Do not disturb the Three Killings in the North sector this year (are you following this?) or you run the risk of illness, accidents, lawsuits and robberies. To suppress this affliction, display the Three Divine Guardians or Three Tiger Deities in the North

I checked my apartment, I think the err.. three killings are all good, no need for the tiger deities at the moment… they’re on standby though..

pssst.. by the way, don’t tell anyone I told you this right but here’s a bonus tip for you, if a poison arrow is coming in from the South East hang a 6 rod metal windchime in front of the edge, you got me?

psssssst.. go on then, here’s another, if you’re having any office politics problems put a rooster figurine on your desk, you’ll be right in no time.  If anyone asks, I didn’t tell you, ok..