I stopped in this double posh hotel in Bangkok the other night, it was called Bandara Suites and is located in Silom (think night markets, Patpong hooker street etc etc), it was basically a boutique type hotel boasting a menu by none other than Ken Hom (the culinary world’s equivalent art world’s Tony Hart) but at a very reasonable 50 quid a night, I’ll be staying there again for sure!

“How posh is the hotel?” I can hear you asking, well, if I told you that it had two separate laundries would that answer your question?

Seriously though, what’s a sport laundry?? I’m getting visions of washing machines painted red with ferrari stickers on and walls covered in posters of footballers, I might be wrong though.

During dinner that evening we had the usual discussion around which airline swewardesses are the fittest, I lumped in with Korean airlines, there’s something kinky (and downright odd) about those jaunty neckscarfs they wear but finally we all agreed that the Singapore Airlines uniform is the hottest and presumably their hostesses are especially bred because they’re all quadruple-fit!

Anyway, after dinner my colleague said he wanted to show us something and led us off to Patpong for a walk down the hooker street, the buzz of the place is amazing, every bar has 20-30 girls outside all hollering “HELLO HELLO MASSAGE” at everyone passing by while food carts buzz up and down (even the girl in our group found it interesting I think). Finally he pointed at a corner and said “here we are”, I looked across in amazement to see the entire street corner populated by 15 or so hookers dressed as Singapore Airlines stewardesses, I thought about taking a photo but gave it up as a bad idea (although the thought of being chased down the street by a fleet of angry SAL stewardesses returned to me in a dream that night). We ended up going for a 2 hour thai massage close by (120 minutes of absolute agony) and when we walked back through there were only 5 left, the rest had been picked up, apparently an SAL uniform is a sound business investment if you’re a hooker (take note female TRL readers)!