I saw this in Hong Kong Plaza the other day.

I think it’s an all singing, all dancing, modern iron-lung, except made with space age materials like plastic, aluminium and some double sided sticky tape. I’m getting a double one for me and H, we’re going to lock ourselves inside with nothing but a crate of cornflakes, several gallons of UHT milk and a large toblerone to keep us going until this swine flu has passed us by.

Afterwards we’ll emerge into the wasteland, the only surviving members of the human race and start the new world, a proper one with rivers of chocolate, thorny bushes sprouting fruit pastilles, chickens that lay steaming chunks of chicken tikka onto nan-bread nests and magic corduroy trousers that never give you swamp-crotch.

A metro station medicine vending machine, where the rest of human race will spend their last few days panic buying Lemsip Extra and blackcurrant Strepsils