Here it is folks, the new extreme sport which is about to sweep the nation / world, Virtual Moustaching(TM) or “Veeming” as the cool cats like to call it. (Note, I’ve been saying this since I went through a phase taking these pics in 2000).

Making your own virtual moustache is as easy as one, two, veem

1 – Find a “veemee” with long hair, the hotter the better

2 – Grab a lock of hair and plant it on your upper lip in pimpin stylee

3 – Have sex (veemers always get the girl)

The Dirty Django – now his wife!!

The Fu ManChu

The Sugar Bertie

Everyone has to start somewhere

The Piece de Resistance – Every Veemer should aspire to reach these heights


  • The Virtual Moustache is the male G-Spot
  • Virtual Moustachers get laid EVERY NIGHT and with the HOTTEST CHICKS
  • Virtual Moustaching helps to achieve enlightment (only under a controlled spiritual diet)

Reader submissions

Come on you crazy cats,the gauntlet has well and truly been laid down (and then picked up and slapped on your mouth), do you think you can do better than the veemers at Dingle Speaks, send your submissions to and I’ll post them here.